When You Become A Stranger To Yourself Pt.1

Ever seen that stupid dress that was all over the internet a while ago, you know, the one where people were arguing over whether it was gold or some other colour, as if there’s no problems left in the world to discuss, as if anyone even fucking cares?

Well, I don’t even know why I used that analogy really, but I guess it’s the best way I can try and begin to explain what I’ve been going through these past few days, if I can explain it at all that is…

So now imagine this - you're that stupid dress. Except of course, you’re not stupid, and you’re not a dress. But you just have no clue whether you’re gold, blue or some other shit you never even considered for that matter.

You’re literally a stranger to yourself. What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What is it you want?

Yes, it’s often difficult to make decisions in life or act upon things. But for the most part, you have a pretty good idea of what’s going through your head and what you’re feeling, right? 

What do you do when you wake up one day and realise you have absolutely no clue what you’re feeling. No clue what you’re thinking. No clue what you want… Thoughts rushing through your mind, each one contradicting the last... 

Maybe you tell yourself it's just not your day... You distract yourself. You drink. You deny and ignore it, all in an effort to protect yourself from...yourself... You almost feel you've got it all under control...

...And then you wake up the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, too, feeling exactly the same.

Where do you go from there? How do you win this battle against your very own self?

To be continued...

PROVEHITO IN ALTUM
Daniel

Change

Change.

The one thing capable of scaring the fuck out of any person.

This one’s a common battle for me these days. When you take a step back and try to rationalise with all the thoughts going through your mind, you realise how ridiculous it is. You remember that the universe is built upon change. Days go by, seasons change, people are brought into and taken from this world every second, planets continuously orbit, air moves, people change…I could go on and on. It’s all around us.

And yet the majority of us want to stay still. Stay where you are, keep doing what you do, remain satisfied with what you have. Why? Because everything’s fine. Sure, you don’t live the perfect life, but then again who does? You’ve got a job. It may not be your dream job, but it pays the bills. You’ve got a family. You’ve got friends. You’re happy where you are. At least you feel that way. Nothing needs to change. The risk that comes with change is too great, right? Might as well stay put.

Wait a second though - how can you know and say that things are fine the way they are and that you’re happy where you are, without trying something else? Have you really been around, seen all that’s on offer?

Open your eyes and take a look around you. You know the successful people, the dreamers who made it by persevering through what was perhaps deemed impossible? What do they have that you don’t?

I think I know the answer to this one. I think it’s actually something you have that they don’t which is stopping you from being like them, keeping you from your dreams.

It’s the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone. Fear of the unknown.

You might think at this point that I sound like I’ve got it all figured out, and that I’m not like you. Or perhaps you think I have no idea what I’m on about :)

Actually, we’re on the same team, fighting the same fight. I have a decision pending, and regardless of what I decide I am about to embark on a new journey, a new chapter of my life. And I have no fucking clue what I want to do. My heart says one thing, my mind says another, friends and family another. I’m happy with the way things are, and I really wish I didn’t have to make this decision right now. In other words, I don’t want to step out of this comfort zone I’ve created for myself over the years. But sometimes, you just hear change calling out for you. You feel it. Sometimes, you just need to start listening, to open up your heart to new possibilities…

This piece is a reflection of some of my inner dialogue, and I hope those of you reading this can relate. At the very worst though, I will use this as a reminder to myself of how ridiculous our resistance against change is, and how people who are happy to step out of their comfort zone and take risks are the true winners of this game we call life.

So here’s a toast to the uncertainties that lie ahead and the beauty of life, which is dependent upon the unknown, the unforeseen, the untold. Here’s a toast to change, to the new experiences, friendships and memories that are yet to be made and engraved in our hearts and minds forever.

PROVEHITO IN ALTUM
Daniel

                                                                                                                                                                                   

Unknown

Like a thunderstorm on the eve of an ever so sunny day
A death that strikes on the happiest day of your life
Unexpected. Inexplicable. Destructive.

A product of our own imagination, misguided
A swing so swift and subtle you’d never know you’ve been struck in the first place
And all you’re left with are scars.

Scars that appear to have come from nowhere,
Scars that tie you down and pull you away from your dreams.

You feel alone,
As if no one or nothing can help you find the answers.
Lost.

Where do you go from there?

Reach out, reconnect with the universe.
The world has so much to offer.

The answers are all around us,
We just need to know where to look.

Seek help.

We’re all warriors, battling against the challenges of life
Sometimes we just need someone to give us a hand,
A sympathetic ear.

Perhaps some things stay the same, but we grow stronger every day
We learn to adapt, we learn to survive
We’re here, fighting, still standing strong

And you know what, that in itself is worth celebrating.
Each and every single day.

Fear

Fear. It’s fucking everywhere. It’s been embedded into our lives ever since day one. The media, the corporations, the rich and the powerful, those in charge. They all want us to fear something. In the quest for their own wealth and success, they deliberately and shamelessly attempt to imprison us in chains, to limit our capacities and put barriers between us and reality, us and our dreams, our ideals...

This fear is often presented to us in the form of “these guys are evil” or “this is bad for you, if you do that you’re in trouble” or in the form of a fairy tale specifically designed to distract you from the bigger picture. 

They tap into our subconscious every single day, and most of us never even notice it. What’s the point of having free speech if everyone’s been influenced into a specific pattern of thinking, particularly one which almost always is driven by the agenda of those in charge of “the system”.

False Expectations Appearing Real

We’ve got to question things, be curious. It's 2015 – we have no excuse for not being able to do so. The number of resources we have nowadays thanks to the continuous development of technology is insane. Let’s make use of everything that’s been put out there for us in our pursuit of the truth. Let’s break those chains that have taken our ability to think for ourselves captive. It’s about time we know right from wrong, and ensure those in power are doing what is in the best interest of society as a whole rather than for their own personal agendas.

Another form of fear comes from within ourselves. There may be external factors involved, but ultimately, fear is something we feel internally, and thus it can only thrive for as long as we allow it to. The majority of our fears are not life threatening or life defining. We have to remember this. 

Whatever it is causing the fear is something that comes and goes, and it will pass, and those moments will be a blip on the radar in the tale that is your life. So don’t give these irrational fears the power to imprison you. Don't let them suck the joy out of your life and stop you from doing things that you might actually enjoy or learn from!

I’ve certainly allowed fear to take hold of me in the past, and I still face the situations you may be going through as well, but remember – you are not the only one in the world who feels this way, you’re more than capable of facing whatever comes your way, and whatever it is you’re fearing, when you face that fear, it’s never as bad as you imagine it to be.

It’s time to set ourselves free.

If you find this post useful, I highly suggest you watch this excellent talk by Les Brown, helped me a lot! Also, please follow the blog if you enjoy my posts :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8mGRToWyf8

Provehito In Altum

Daniel