When You Become A Stranger To Yourself Pt.1

Ever seen that stupid dress that was all over the internet a while ago, you know, the one where people were arguing over whether it was gold or some other colour, as if there’s no problems left in the world to discuss, as if anyone even fucking cares?

Well, I don’t even know why I used that analogy really, but I guess it’s the best way I can try and begin to explain what I’ve been going through these past few days, if I can explain it at all that is…

So now imagine this - you're that stupid dress. Except of course, you’re not stupid, and you’re not a dress. But you just have no clue whether you’re gold, blue or some other shit you never even considered for that matter.

You’re literally a stranger to yourself. What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What is it you want?

Yes, it’s often difficult to make decisions in life or act upon things. But for the most part, you have a pretty good idea of what’s going through your head and what you’re feeling, right? 

What do you do when you wake up one day and realise you have absolutely no clue what you’re feeling. No clue what you’re thinking. No clue what you want… Thoughts rushing through your mind, each one contradicting the last... 

Maybe you tell yourself it's just not your day... You distract yourself. You drink. You deny and ignore it, all in an effort to protect yourself from...yourself... You almost feel you've got it all under control...

...And then you wake up the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, too, feeling exactly the same.

Where do you go from there? How do you win this battle against your very own self?

To be continued...

PROVEHITO IN ALTUM
Daniel

Unknown

Like a thunderstorm on the eve of an ever so sunny day
A death that strikes on the happiest day of your life
Unexpected. Inexplicable. Destructive.

A product of our own imagination, misguided
A swing so swift and subtle you’d never know you’ve been struck in the first place
And all you’re left with are scars.

Scars that appear to have come from nowhere,
Scars that tie you down and pull you away from your dreams.

You feel alone,
As if no one or nothing can help you find the answers.
Lost.

Where do you go from there?

Reach out, reconnect with the universe.
The world has so much to offer.

The answers are all around us,
We just need to know where to look.

Seek help.

We’re all warriors, battling against the challenges of life
Sometimes we just need someone to give us a hand,
A sympathetic ear.

Perhaps some things stay the same, but we grow stronger every day
We learn to adapt, we learn to survive
We’re here, fighting, still standing strong

And you know what, that in itself is worth celebrating.
Each and every single day.

Fear

Fear. It’s fucking everywhere. It’s been embedded into our lives ever since day one. The media, the corporations, the rich and the powerful, those in charge. They all want us to fear something. In the quest for their own wealth and success, they deliberately and shamelessly attempt to imprison us in chains, to limit our capacities and put barriers between us and reality, us and our dreams, our ideals...

This fear is often presented to us in the form of “these guys are evil” or “this is bad for you, if you do that you’re in trouble” or in the form of a fairy tale specifically designed to distract you from the bigger picture. 

They tap into our subconscious every single day, and most of us never even notice it. What’s the point of having free speech if everyone’s been influenced into a specific pattern of thinking, particularly one which almost always is driven by the agenda of those in charge of “the system”.

False Expectations Appearing Real

We’ve got to question things, be curious. It's 2015 – we have no excuse for not being able to do so. The number of resources we have nowadays thanks to the continuous development of technology is insane. Let’s make use of everything that’s been put out there for us in our pursuit of the truth. Let’s break those chains that have taken our ability to think for ourselves captive. It’s about time we know right from wrong, and ensure those in power are doing what is in the best interest of society as a whole rather than for their own personal agendas.

Another form of fear comes from within ourselves. There may be external factors involved, but ultimately, fear is something we feel internally, and thus it can only thrive for as long as we allow it to. The majority of our fears are not life threatening or life defining. We have to remember this. 

Whatever it is causing the fear is something that comes and goes, and it will pass, and those moments will be a blip on the radar in the tale that is your life. So don’t give these irrational fears the power to imprison you. Don't let them suck the joy out of your life and stop you from doing things that you might actually enjoy or learn from!

I’ve certainly allowed fear to take hold of me in the past, and I still face the situations you may be going through as well, but remember – you are not the only one in the world who feels this way, you’re more than capable of facing whatever comes your way, and whatever it is you’re fearing, when you face that fear, it’s never as bad as you imagine it to be.

It’s time to set ourselves free.

If you find this post useful, I highly suggest you watch this excellent talk by Les Brown, helped me a lot! Also, please follow the blog if you enjoy my posts :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8mGRToWyf8

Provehito In Altum

Daniel

Life is Worth The Struggle

Give yourself credit. Take a step back every now and then to reflect on things and remember not to be too harsh on yourself.

I mean seriously, why do our inner voices have to be so critical and so cynical? When we look at others around us and evaluate some of the things they’ve gone through, how do we react? When it comes to analysing our own selves, we’re like our own worst enemy. That inner voice is a bitch, ignore it.

I try and remind myself every now and then to take a step back, take some alone time to reflect on things and recognise how far I’ve come over the years. Yes, I talk to myself sometimes, and I have my own inner dialogue with regards to what I’ve achieved, and I analyse these the way I would if a friend of mine was telling me his life story.

Of course, none of us are perfect – we all face similar challenges in life and just like you, I also manage to bring myself down from time to time. But in those situations we have to remember that as long as we are breathing and as long as the world keeps spinning, we have time to make our dreams come true. I believe that with all my heart.

We can all make an impact on this world, we can change things for the better, and we can leave our mark on this world. I don’t know about you, but one of my biggest dreams is to somehow leave a mark on this world – I have no idea how I would do that at the moment, but I believe there is a way and I believe I will figure it out, and I think that’s the most important part – believing until your very last breath, even when you’ve lost all reason to believe.

Be proud, and be strong, brave souls. Yes, we all have different life paths and endure different circumstances from both ends of the extremely broad spectrum of life, but if you’re reading this, no matter what you’re going through I believe you have a glimpse of hope and strength within you, and I bet you’ve overcome some amazing things. You have great things in your life too, I’m sure. Sometimes the best things in our lives we take for granted, or we drive away from ourselves. Love and happiness often come from these things – we just need to remember to appreciate them, to reincorporate them into our lives and remember how blessed we are. Believe in yourself, and stay strong.

PS: If you’re looking for a good book to read, I highly recommend The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer – a book about finding inner peace and making the best of the amazing journey that is life.

PROVEHITO IN ALTUM
Daniel

Dark

The dark is your enemy.

It breeds pain, it breeds sadness, it breeds misery. It drags you through a time tunnel, with visions of your past waiting to haunt your will to sleep away.

Sometimes there's something so peculiar about it, a bittersweet feel to it which tricks you into thinking that you could somehow find some sort of peace and comfort within that realm of darkness and misery. 

Sometimes I find myself just not wanting to turn that metaphorical light back on in my life. To drown everything out in the sorrow and to blame it all on self-induced affairs that you're convinced are actually the horrible results of other peoples careless actions seems so much simpler. You almost refuse to bring back the happiness, the hope, the love and the faith back into your life because it's like stepping out of your comfort zone.

When faced with such a situation, remember to push yourself to enlighten your world yet again, before you get lost in that darkness forever.

Hello World

Hello world. Most of you probably have no clue who I am, where I'm from, or what I do for a living. And you probably don't need to. I'm probably not much different than those of you who are reading this. I'm just one of - God knows how many billion we are now - people on this planet - living, learning and trying to make sense of it all as I go along. I've always liked writing, though the inspiration to do so can be hard to find at times.

I've decided today, after much contemplation, to start a blog and share some of my thoughts with you. I was previously fairly active on deviantArt, an online community of artists of all backgrounds, and received some positive feedback.

Seeing people relate to what I thought, felt and then put into words and being told that what I wrote helped those people through some extremely tough situations was both the greatest and most rewarding feeling ever. This is the biggest motivation for me. So, starting today I will be sharing some of my literature with you along with some general thoughts and updates if you'll have me.

Please do let me know what you think!

Cheers,
Daniel